There’s No Place Like Home….

Having just returned from a trip back to the States (driving the Hubs crazy when I say “go home”, I’m sure, because my hometown isn’t really home – Hay is home….or is it Barrington?) I logged on to WordPress and was floored by how long it has been since I have posted. I think it must be a sign of a good trip when I can actually disconnect from all things social media. I haven’t much been on Twitter or Facebook (of course, not being able to use my iPhone internationally does play a major roll, as well) and obviously, I’ve been lax about posting here.

It has become a bit strange, these visits back to the US. While I’m nowhere near being called a local here, there is a definite feeling of being a visitor when I go back to Illinois. Try as I may to keep in touch with my friends, I don’t think I’m doing as good a job as I could. And the traffic – oh, I’m so not used to the traffic in the Chicago suburbs! I’ve found I’ve become very impatient with it, so when we do eventually move back, I’m in for a rude awakening, as I’m so used to walking places here.

That said, I did feel a bit nostalgic as I stood waist deep in the community pool, with Pea and Boo splashing with their friends – and NOT in the baby pool, where they spent most of their time when we lived there. (Trips into the “deeper” pool – the one with the 3-1/2′ depth – was fraught with anxiety, since Pea was so short!!!) Were we living there still, we’d likely be at the pool every other day, or going to the Chicago Botanical Garden, or to Morton Arboretum, or even taking the train into the city for a day out together, as both kids are now old enough and travel better. It was tough, even for a moment, to see how things would have been if we had stayed (although I don’t regret a moment we have been here, as we’ve had some amazing opportunities here.)

I had a really great time on this trip. We had a lot of lovely meals together with my parents, and I had a wonderful visit with cousins, where it was just a small group of us, so we were able to visit a bit more (although I never did get to go out for drinks without the kids, which makes it easier to catch up.) It’s nice to have time to visit family, but there is something so bittersweet about it, too – even the cousins we didn’t get to see frequently, we knew we could see them easily if we wanted to, but now, there is that sense of not knowing when you’d see them again hanging over your head. I also find myself frustrated with not having enough time to see everyone, not even to manage to call everyone I want to, when I can talk on the phone and not fret over long distance charges.

And one can never have too much Papa time. Seeing Pea and Papa hang out together was really special.

Every time I leave, I’m struck by what an adjustment it will be for all of us when we move back – something I never contemplated when we moved here. I think I assumed we’d slide right back into daily life, but the reality is that things have chugged along there without us, and we have changed, too. There is definitely a feeling of being someplace in the middle – not really fitting in completely here, but no longer fitting in back there, either.

And then the car pulls in the driveway, and no matter how nice the trip has been, I’m happy to be home.