Jumping with Joy (and No Worries)

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. You must be 21+ years old to try Poise Impressa Bladder Supports. #LifeAfterLeaks #CollectiveBias

The things I do for you people, I swear. If you mention this to me in person, I will deny everything and change the topic to bacon, or even politics, because I don’t want your first thought of me tainted by piddle.

So take the info I have here, use it wisely, and forget I was the one who wrote this. Please.

Now, I have a story to tell you:

When I was in my 20s, we were at a 40th birthday party for one of my mom’s cousins. In the way that 40th birthday gifts go, someone gave him a box of adult diapers. Being the prankster he is, shortly thereafter he was seen to burst through the back yard, run to the pool and cannonball in – wearing only a t-shirt and the aforementioned diaper. Much laughing ensued, as did some leg-crossing from the older ladies set.

While this was going on, some of the younger kids were jumping on the trampoline. As the moms and aunties joined in, laughs and giggles were interspersed with shouts of “I’m gonna pee!” A comment was thrown out that perhaps that box of diapers should just be mounted on the fence next to the trampoline for any jumping mommas.

I must have been laughing a little too hard, as they just looked at me and said “just you wait.” There may have been stink-eye involved.

Famous last words and all that, right?

So fast forward ten (or so) years and my kids have their first trampoline. “Yay” I said – until the first jump. Oh my. (I confess to looking around to see if my aunties had nailed a box to the side of MY fence, and fully expected them to come around the corner laughing, hidden camera style.)

My children arrived when I turned 35 & 37, respectively, and my body did not respond kindly, which is patently unfair because after TWO c-sections I figured while I’d suffer a scar, at least I’d escape the pee leak. Alas, this was not the case.

Needless to say, jumping of any kind is dicey thing for me, and the jump rope station at my 30-minute boxing gym makes me positively twitchy. While laughing isn’t a huge issue, coughing is. Have I mentioned I have cough-variant asthma and I’m allergic to basically every kind of grass (and a few trees and a lot of weeds) grown in Texas? So there’s that.

A visit to my doctor and a horrendously embarrassing bladder function test later (now that’s a story for another day…that I won’t be sharing, thank you) I discovered that no amount of Kegels nor a pretty little pill can fix my problem.

No, my bladder has fallen and it won’t stay up, and my doc offered to hoist it with mesh, but since (a) if anything is going to get hoisted, I have other body parts lining up to go first and (b) the first disclosure in the proffered brochure said: “may result in a need to self-catheter” (um, thanks but no thanks). I resigned myself to a life of crossed legs, panty liners, and an avoidance over overly bouncy things.

So when I heard that I can ditch the liner for something that will prevent the issue instead of handling the issue after the fact, if you will, I jumped all over it.

Ok, I walked rapidly.

No jumping, remember?

So in the interest of helping my fellow moms who also pee a bit when they laugh, cough, dance, sneeze or exercise (the fancy name is stress urinary incontinence), I present you the Poise Impressa Bladder Support, which I found at my CVS when I was in to pick up my asthma meds. It’s designed to help prevent leaks (not absorb them) and can be worn for up to 8 hours in a 24 hour period (and, no, Mom, you don’t have to remove them to go to the bathroom. Don’t ask me how that works, but it does.)

It looks like a tampon, but it’s not. You want to start out with the sizing kit because it’s not about how much you weigh, how tall you are, how much you leak – it’s all about internal fit. Yes, size does matter in this case!

They are super simple to use: You start with size 1 (because, obviously) and insert the Impressa just like a tampon, where it will expand to support the urethra. Go about your business. Run, jump, laugh. I double-dog dare you.

Did it work? Awesome, go buy yourself a 10-count pack of size 1 and you are ready to run, jump, bounce and laugh.

Not so much? Move on to size 2, and repeat the previous steps until you find the perfect “fit”.

Questions? Because I really don’t want to talk to you about this in person, head on over to the Poise website, on their You Tube channel (seriously), and on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/Poise) for more information.

I have to admit, it’s more than a little bit exciting – I really can live my life more fully now. I can uncross my legs, dance without worry (still with no rhythm), and gone is that moment of panic at my gym when bell rings to signal the start of the jump rope station (and the realization hits that I didn’t make a pit stop at the bathroom before I signed in) – all thanks to Poise Impressa

And, like it or not, all my excuses for not joining in with the kids at the trampoline park that smells like feet, sadly, those are gone, too. But jump I will, and with joy and without worry.

Since I showed you mine, you show me yours: what would you do if you could stop the leaks?