confession time

Surrender (Or, When a Tweezer Leads You Astray)

Forget it. I give up.

I surrender.

Some days, my focus is there and I can write like a demon. Other days? There’s a chin hair that I keep playing with. And my desk is cluttered. And I have words in my head that are coming out all wrong, or not at all. I stare at my laptop. I fight to stay focused.

And then I give up. I go to my car, pull out of the garage – and grab the car tweezers, because, seriously, is there any better light than in the front seat of your car looking in the visor mirror? (And yes, I have car tweezers – hot pink Tweezerman tweezers because I am OF A CERTAIN AGE.)

Task accomplished, I walk into the house and confront all the smaller things that are pulling me from my intended task.

I surrender to the pull of other things.

And I wonder how much this happens on a bigger scale. Those good intentions, those BIG plans I make – what if they aren’t really part of the bigger plan? What if the distractions are MEANT to be, to pull my attention someplace else – to where they are supposed to be.

What happens when I surrender to the other things that pull me? What if it ISN’T just procrastination? What if there is another purpose? Maybe the little things distracting us from our bigger plans are meant to open our eyes to other things and other plans?

That moment of auto-inspired self-maintenance was followed with a tidy of the kitchen which led to finally cooking that spaghetti squash which has been glaring at me defiantly today (and the last few days) as I nibble on tea and a gluten-free chocolate muffin. I cook the squash and I roast its seeds, and in the process I drop some on the floor; the subsequent clean-up reveals dead grass under the cabinets where it has been generously deposited by my spaniel’s ears.

This leads me to my stick vacuum, which, in its white-noise hum and repetitive motion, stills my anxious brain.

Which lets me sit, and write, at last.  It’s not what I set out to work on earlier in the day. But now I have a few ideas…

Ah. I see how that worked.

I surrender.

This post is inspired in part by today’s prompt at  Five Minute Friday, whose directive is to write for five minutes on a one-word prompt – no editing, no second guessing.
I love the prompts and while I am 
Christian and a writer I probably swear too much for those lovely ladies so I don’t link up – but you can go read their much more inspirational posts hereThe prompt today is “surrender.”

It was equally inspired by F* It Friday in another writer’s group which whom I’m much more comfortable sharing my writing and my humor and my occasional F-bomb. And because I have a hard time with rules, I most definitely took 30 seconds to edit.



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