Drinks are on Me!
To look at my bulk mailbox, I will never again have to work a day in my life.
First – there’s the long-lost relatives. Honestly, I did not know that I had so many deceased relatives in Nigeria, let alone those who have willed me money. I mean, a lot of relatives on my mom’s side have olive complexions, but I’ve always attributed this to our Italian genetics (along with the rampant emotions, flaring temper/colorful yelling, fast speech and wild hand movements that accompany it).
Now, I gotta wonder….
I am also amazingly lucky, apparently, as I have won so many sweepstakes (which I didn’t even realize I entered) that I could spend entire days responding to emails. I’ll be right with you, as soon as I complete these three tasks they are asking for….
It is also obvious that I am incredibly trustworthy as I have many soldiers in Iraq needing me to accept shipments of gold bars for them, uncovered in the capture of various buildings of high-ranking Iraqi officials. Which is odd, as I would have thought all that gold would have been sorted a few years ago, but what do I know.
Drinks are on me!
Ooh, and get this — I am the recipient of no less than ten $1000 Wal-Mart gift cards. All I have to do is go complete this survey….
So…who wants to go shopping? I’ll be ready just as soon as I send a few emails….
4 Comments
sam
Hi! Dropping in from the blog hop. 🙂 Loved this post. Hilarious! Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
Sam
Crystal
Hilarious. Apparently I am some kind of investment genius. That has to be why all of these people I don’t know are sharing their stock tips with me. Unfortunately, it appears I also suffer from erectile dysfunction.
Crystal Jigsaw
Brilliant post, so funny! I get all these daft emails too and they’re so badly written as though someone is actually pretending to be from Africa or wherever!! Yes, I too am a millionaire, many times over, thanks to long lost rellies overseas!
CJ xx
Stesha
*raises both hands in the air* I would love to go shopping….right after I go collect my lottery winnings from a lottery I didn’t enter. I’m so lucky.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha