10 Reasons Why I Could Not Be a Housewife From ANY County
I’ll admit it. I did watch the Real Housewives from Orange County when it first came out. They were ditzy. They were ridiculously rich, and watching them drop thousands on a piece of jewelry – or a car for their kids – was unfathomable to me. They were, at times, ridiculous. But they weren’t overly mean, or nasty, or snooty about their money. Hell, two of those ladies made their OWN money.
However. The rest of the Housewives? I just didn’t get into it.
New York? Obnoxious. Preening. They wanted everyone to KNOW they were rich. Atlanta? Damn, those bitches be catty.
But really, I could not be a housewife. And here’s why:
- No one is interested in watching a Housewife from Powys County. Hell, just pronouncing “Powys” would be a struggle for the Yanks.
- Being on camera all the time means I’d actually have to stop yelling at my kids. Because, you know.
- NO ONE sees me before I’ve put on my makeup in the morning except my husband. No. One.
- As much as I admire them, Jimmy Choos would not fare well on the local sidewalks.
- Who am I kidding? I can’t WALK in Jimmy Choos.
- I’m afraid of needles, so plastic surgery is out. Ditto the Botox. (Although if you offered me a tummy tuck…..)
- My thighs haven’t been that thin since I was 19.
- Did I mention the cameras being around? ALL the time?
- If being a divorcee isn’t a prerequisite to get on the show, there is a high probably you will leave the show as one. Sadly.
- My kid gets a BMW when he buys it for his own damn self. When I was 18, I drove a slightly dented ’79 Chevy Impala with a leak in the freon line. (THAT car was fun.)
However, I don’t think the TV execs will be knocking down my door. Although, I’m about as “real” a housewife as you’ll get.
Just don’t look under the beds. The dust bunnies here are vicious.
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This week’s post was inspired by a prompt at Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop. Swing on by and check out some of the other posts – they’re sure to delight and entertain!
11 Comments
Dana
I loved all of your reasons!!! Thank you for visiting my blog yesterday.
Jessica
If you were a housewife you wouldn’t have to yell at your kids because you would have several nannies to take care of them.
Patrice P
I hear ya! Visiting from Mama Kat’s!
Cam - Bibs & Baubles
love this post! You’re so right. You can be happily married when you start the show but you won’t stay that way! Reason enough NOT to sign up.
Paulette
Love those reasons! I so couldn’t be a real housewife of any county either. I simply don’t do fake.
Visiting from Mama Kats
Nikki
Love 4 and 5. I am with you on that.:)
Phyllis
Great post! I’m 100% with you on the botox thing. And Jimmy Choos on these fat feet, not thinking so! Oh and the yelling at kids thing….. I’d so be in trouble on that one! Thanks for the smiles!
Arlett from Chasing Joy
Oh and I stopped by from the writer’s workshop 🙂
Arlett from Chasing Joy
Do you watch the HW of New Jersey? They are as entertaining as the others with a hint of Soprano’s influence.
I could not be on Real House wives because”
1. I am not married
2. I am also not divorced
3. If I don’t like you I will not invite you to my party or any other function
4. I shop on a budget
5. I’d get fired for not being angry enoug, bitter enough, petty enough, or crazy enough
Jenn
I don’t know if the New Jersey series has even reached the UK yet (I wasn’t even aware???) The OC episodes airing now are pretty old…. :0)
It doesn’t seem that #1 was needed in the OC version, either!!!
Thanks for stopping by.
Miss Jackie
I loved this post!! I can’t even imagine walking these streets in Choo’s much less wearing them. I am with you on the tummy tuck and would be right in the queue. I am smiling just thinking about the Powys housewife show. Hope your day rocks xx