The Bachelor, the Black Widow, and More Drama.

Are you watching “The Bachelor”?

Reality TV isn’t generally my thing because I don’t need anybody else’s drama in my life, but I do watch “The Bachelor”. Maybe it’s just to remind myself how awful dating was, or to remember to be grateful when I’m cleaning my husband’s chest hair from the shower drain. However, this season of “The Bachelor” has sucked me in.

I’ll be straight-up honest with you: Kelsey drives me crazy. She comes off as manipulative and disingenuous, and oh, heck, I’ll go there – she gives off a definite wacko vibe, in a “I’m gonna double-check my doors and set the house alarm because I’m blogging about her and we live in the same STATE” kind of crazy.

And I can’t say that I like her very much. Or at all. And I really do hate to be judgy.

Okay, so we all know this is reality TV, which means it is more than a two-step away from reality, but if I hear her say “I came here to WIN” one more time, I may scream. I mean, was she forgetting in all her playing to the camera that at some point in the future (i.e, NOW), Chris-the-Bachelor would watch the show, too, and all of the manipulative fluff would be exposed, if he doesn’t actually figure out her “game” before the end?

I.e., her STORY. What the rest of us would call a tragedy, a husband dying unexpectedly less than a year before, she calls “a good story”. She was so pleased with herself after she told her story that my stomach turned last week.

So the whole panic-attack/fainting/giddy laughter/”I’d better get a rose after all this” muckedy-muck, which of course led to her NEEDING to talk to Chris (of course she did), read as totally fake. Because, of course it was. If it WAS a game, I might have said “well-played”.

I mean, c’mon girlfriend. All that talk to the camera? It wasn’t off the record. So even if you DO nab him (and then I will have lost all faith in reality humanity), do you think he’ll stick around once this airs?

And if this guy really IS looking for a wife, I’m sure he wants the one he chooses there for the right reasons. Not because “they played the game the best”.

Moving on to the group date: what a group of good sports the girls were, as they were put completely on the spot to write a heart-felt song and THEN perform it – in front of not only everyone but country stars Big and Rich. But they all came through, with various degrees of success, and I give them all props for getting up and singing – especially Jade, given how nervous she was and how despondent she was seeing Britt smooching all over Chris as she was trying to write (but that right there was country music fodder).  Either way, I would have been peeing my pants.

When Chris ditched the gang and ran off with Britt to see Big and Rich sing, I thought that was pretty thoughtless. And then he gave her a rose, and I thought….yeah, that’s still a thoughtless thing to do to the rest of the girls. And it looked he figured the out the same by the looks on their faces when he came back to the bar where they were waiting – for over an HOUR. Can you say “awkward”?

Speaking of awkward… what about that two-on-one with Crazy Kelsey and Kardashley? It was quite possibly the most awkward date of all the awkward Bachelor dates – a guy, two girls, and a fabric draped…bed…in the middle of the badlands. And maybe a few vultures. Or would that just be Kelsey, circling?  At the start of it, I was hoping that he would just take a pass on handing out the rose at the end of the date. I mean, c’mon, I know every reality show needs its drama queen, but I’m sure Britt could provide that for the rest of the girls.

Kardashley took one for the team when she told Chris that all the girls think she is fake – I don’t know if I would have even gone there so more power to her. When Kelsey learns about it (poor Chris, sharing girl talk), Kelsey whines to the camera “I just got thrown under the bus…by a girl who has too much makeup on to be genuine.” What the what?  “She thinks she’s playing a game…but I’m not”.

Wait a minute. Didn’t she say earlier that she didn’t come there to lose?

Seriously, at that point I was hoping that the rose would blow out the window of the chopper. Or it would be snatched up and flown off with by a vulture. Thankfully, he gave them BOTH the boot before the date ended.

That could have been an awkward helicopter ride home.

 

But it wasn’t.

Because he left them there.

And I’m left wondering….did they have to share a ride home together?

Yikes!

I’m looking forward to next week, when they all head to Iowa….and this really becomes a reality show.

Because…reality check, indeed.

What about you? Did you see that ending coming?