Dear So & So

I think that Kat might be taking a break this week, but I really needed to write my Dear So and So’s, anyway. Because that’s how i roll……

So here we go:

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Dear Dog Groomer,

Thank you for shaving my puppy*. It was really getting tiresome picking weeds and seeds out of her tangled ears. If I looked shocked when I picked her up, it was only because she looked so…weird with short ears.

Love,

A Happy Cocker Spaniel Owner

*Boy, that sounds wrong.

* * * * *

Dear Macy,

I promise to stop laughing at your short ears.

But. Dude.

You look goofy. It’s a good thing you’re a dog, and don’t care*.

Love,

The Lady who Walks You and Feeds You

*Don’t argue with me that she does care. This is a creature who eats sheep poo, for goodness sake. She has NO taste whatsoever.

* * * * *

Dear Primary School,

Thanks for deciding to end the school year a day early. And letting me know this week. I had plans to pack that day.

Sheesh.

With Regards,

Whatdoyoumeanyouarentababysitter?

P.s. thanks for doing such a great job with my kidlings this year. And by great job, I refer to their education. And babysitting.

* * * * *

Dear Kids,

Mommy wants to say that she is sorry she is so grumpy and tired.
It is because she is obsessively planning a holiday that you don’t know about.

But it’s going to be a damn good surprise. And you’ll forgive me for being grouchy.

Love,

Your Best. Mom. Ever.

* * * * *

Dear Shop Owners,

While I know customer service isn’t necessarily your thing, I would appreciate it if sometime in the middle of your clearly important *loud* conversation with a client about a friend who is having an affair you might stop and say “hello”. I mean, I appreciate being able to shop without the hovering (American) store clerk, but at the same time it would be nice to not feel like I walked into a private conversation.

Likewise, if you are picking your nose at the counter, please remember that just because you (apparently) can’t see ME does NOT mean that I can’t see YOU. *gags*

Still hopeful,

A Reluctant Shopper

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Dear Telemarketing Dude with the P.P.I calls:

REALLY???????

Enough already.

With no fondness whatsoever,

The woman who is going to start calling YOU at home.

* * * * *

Have someone you want to thank or something to get off your chest?

Any other day, I’d tell you to link up over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow but Kat is taking a break, so just go on over and check out her blog, just for giggles.

Then write your own, anyway You’ll feel better, like a load lifted. Really!

(If you don’t have a blog, go start one. Now. I’ll wait….*whistling* *files nails* …or you can just play along in the comments section.)