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Drinks are on Me!
To look at my bulk mailbox, I will never again have to work a day in my life. First – there’s the long-lost relatives. Honestly, I did not know that I had so many deceased relatives in Nigeria, let alone those who have willed me money. I mean, a lot of relatives on my mom’s side have olive complexions, but I’ve always attributed this to our Italian genetics (along with the rampant emotions, flaring temper/colorful yelling, fast speech and wild hand movements that accompany it). Now, I gotta wonder…. I am also amazingly lucky, apparently, as I have won so many sweepstakes (which I didn’t even realize I entered) that…
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Make Me Laugh Monday – Oh, the Things These Eyes Have Seen
I realize that some Europeans may well consider that Americans are….prudes when it comes to swimwear and/or nudity. Let me tell you, given what I have seen today, this is NOT a bad thing. I would have appreciated a shared sentiment of prudishness when I saw the 60+ nana poolside…topless. Or the very, very, VERY rotund gentleman wearing a very, very, VERY small swimming costume. Lying on the beach, legs spread-eagle, propped up on rocks, arms crossed behind his head. *shudders* I do not have pictures. That may have damaged my camera. I’ve seen a lot of grannies in bikinis today. Power to them, girlfriends…. The upside of all of…
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Puppy Love
Walking to the car with Pea last week, she looked at me and said, “I’m going to marry Huw.” Well, this was news to me. I thought she was going to marry Alfie when they grow up. I don’t know how much say Alfie had in this, so I’m not sure how he’ll feel about this new turn of events. I asked her “what about Alfie?” She thought a moment, shook her head, and said “I love Huw.” So you can imagine my surprise when she came out of school today with a handmade card…from Huw! (Which her big brother promptly scribbled on, so I can’t share its lovely cuteness.)…
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10 reasons I know it is Monday
Hello, and Happy Monday. I have to say “happy Monday” because it’s been such a classic “Monday” kind of day. All day long. How do I know it is Monday? My son woke me up from a sound sleep so that I could straighten the collar on his school uniform. 6:45 am. Huh? It was -7 C when I took Pea to school; I went to the school wearing two mittens; I arrived home with only one. They were my dog walking mittens. It was still -7 C when we left for our walk… During Macy’s walk, she ate a lot of frozen sheep poo. Frozen sheep poo is chewed,…
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And Then My Heart Stopped
Its been a shaky start to half-term hols. This morning, I loaded up the rental van (who names a car brand a “Seat”, anyway?) with my parents, Boo and Pea (the Hubs stayed home to puppy-sit and work) and headed south-west to Pembrokeshire. Let me start by saying that travelling is a challenge when your son has the bladder capacity of a shot glass. The challenge is compounded when you are travelling in what I would consider a pretty rural country. We made two pit stops in the course of a two-hour drive, one being, so proud to say, out the side of the minivan at the side of the…
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Dogs Don’t Wear Shoes
If you stop by my house at, oh, say, 8pm on any given evening, you will find me mopping. I know. It’s sad. Really, really sad. I hadn’t expected the floors to get THIS dirty. We are a no-shoes-in-the-house family. The Hubs has been strict about this to the point that my kids typically pull off their shoes when they go into another person’s house. But, you see, I have a puppy. She is a sweet puppy, and she is very nearly housetrained. But she doesn’t wear shoes. For obvious reasons. And all the dirt on her feet – despite my attempts to wipe them dry at the back door…
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A Diva in the Making
The school had a Fashion Show for our fall fundraiser. Pea was asked to model. No, correct that she was asked to be “in de Fashion Show”. She came home from school, very excited: “Is dis week de Fashion Show? I’m excited to be in de Fashion Show!!! Mommy…what is a Fashion Show?” Never to take these things lightly, the Headmistress showed the children how to walk, how to turn, then pause and count to five (insert a lot of bobbing heads as they counted to five in their minds), bless her heart. One of the teachers commented all the girls were practicing in the school yard, one hand on…
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Education and the Interwebz – the Ugly
I don’t know whether to be shocked at the gall of this – or the utter stupidity. Because, you know, all the best writers hang out on Craigslist.
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Home Again, Home Again (Jiggedy Jig)
I have been up for approximately 26 hours because I cannot sleep on airplanes. I smell like airport. I have static-head from sleeping against an airplane seat and a paper covered pillow. (I know, I shouldn’t have, so let’s not even go there.) My house smells like dog. There is a dent in the wall where Boo rocked Pea’s glider rocking chair a *titch* too hard. I’ll be calling the painter/plasterer in the morning, which sucks. (They “forgot” to tell Daddy that they did it yesterday.) There is no food in the house. My kids have greasy looking/slippery feeling heads from the new lice treatment the Hubs tried on them…
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Travelling Solo
This week, I’ve had to travel back to the States for my grandfather’s memorial service. Not wanting to subject the kids to the time changes and disruption involved with a short trip overseas, I’ve come on my own. Alone. Solo. Uno. Yes, I’m childless for FIVE days. My husband asked: “What will you do on that flight, all alone?” The reality? While I was completely unencumbered – it was one damn long flight. It felt endless. No fussing. No whining. I was free to read, watch a movie without interruption – and it was the longest damn flight I’ve EVER been on. I miss my kids. I miss my puppy,…