Things I HAVE Done

On Thursday, I wrote a post about the things that I haven’t done. Perhaps some items were a bit tongue-in-cheek, some were things I’d like to do, some were things I have no need to do.

But…

That’s a bit negative, isn’t it.

I’m forty-three years old.

And I’ve:

1. Slept in a tent in the desert. By a river filled with crocodiles. And my tent zipper wouldn’t fully close.

2. Landed in a plane on a beach (and in the desert) in Namibia.

3. Rode in a helicopter and circled the St. Louis arch.

4. Eaten wiener schnitzel and apple strudel in Vienna.

5. Gone snorkelling in the Caribbean while lounging around in villas in jamaica.

6. Breastfed in a bar at a wedding reception, at a John Prine concert (on the lawn) and in a pumpkin patch (just to name a few.)

7. Eaten pasta alla Norma in Sicily, pizza in Naples and gelato in Venice.

8. Drove to Texarkana with friends to eat breakfast at Denny’s because a guy in my dorm had an unnatural obsession with the place and a map of all the Denny’s in the U.S.. Seriously.

9. Drove to Alto Pass at early-o’clock to see the sun strike Bald Knob Cross at sunrise.

10. Caught my bangs (fringe) in the pulley-thingy while rappelling at Giant City State Park.

11. Hyperventilated while going through Fat Man’s Squeeze while hiking at Giant City State Park.

12. Gotten lost driving in Ireland. Asked a random man walking a dog for directions and couldn’t understand a word he said.

13. Accepted a student discount in Dublin at the age of 30. *fist pump*

14. Left my mother on a bus in Rome. (unintentional…of course).

15. Snuck into an audience with the Pope. My mom did too. (Yep. I’m goin’ to hell.)

16. Flew to college -occasionally – in a 4-seater plane with a pilot friend. We’d wake up our buddy sleeping in the back by climbing, and then diving, rendering him momentarily weightless under his blanket. *stupid college kids*

17. Dressed up to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Toast was thrown, amongst other things.

18. Eaten rabbit, kudu, and springbok. Yum.

19. Seen “The Princess Bride” at least 20 times.

20. Parasailed in Barbados.

21. Drank too much Red Stripe in Ocho Rios. Not in a bar, just on the rocks by the port. We were too frightened of Ocho Rios. I might have found myself peeing in the men’s restroom at said port. I only discovered this upon leaving the stall and startling a very large, dreadlocked Jamaican man. “It’s eirie”.

22. Drank pina coladas standing knee deep in the water in St. Croix.

23. Tended bar at a place where some of the clientele pronounced “quarters” like “coors”. This bar had a bowling alley, sand volleyball courts, and a nightclub. Classy, y’all.

25. Sang along at the Music Box Theater in Chicago to “The Sound of Music” and “the Wizard of Oz”. May or may not have dressed up to do so. (I’m not telling). Was admittedly shamed by the gay men who dressed as Dorothy far better than I.

26. Took a friend who had never seen Monty Python’s “The Holy Grail” to a triple screening at the “Brew ‘n View” at the Vic , and giggled at her rather stupefied face when 50+ very drunk people shouted “Bring out your dead” and then talked back at/mocked the rest of the movie.

27. Despite never living outside of Illinois or more than a 6 hour drive from my parents, moved to another country at the age of 41.

28. Met a movie star at a garage sale in Beverly Hills. (Only my mother would take us to a yard sale in Beverly Hills.) The star was Darren McGavin – best known to me, at the time, as the turkey-loving, leg-lamp winning Dad from “A Christmas Story”.

29. Married the love of my life at 34 (thereby relieving my mother of another year of stress of having such an old, picky unmarried daughter.)

30. Had (and kept alive) my two amazing children, despite a complete and utter lack of patience or innate parenting skills.

Not a bad start to a list, eh?