What Is Worse than Bad Spam? This Spam.

Like any blog, mine receives a lot of spam, and for this reason I’m eternally grateful for an excellent spam filter.  It’s probably safe to say that 3% comes from companies trying to get me to use their services to improve my Google ranking,  1% asking to post content on my site, and the remaining 96% of it is straight-up spam.

The former are instantly recognizable by the use of proper English usage and sentence structure.

The latter is almost always foreign – easily identifiable as they are either written entirely in Russian or by a random Chinese character in the middle of the comment. What I find so funny about these spam comments is that they not only have horrific sentence structure (straight from Google Translate) but the comments themselves generally have absolutely nothing to do with the post while being over-the-top complementary. These gems are along the lines of:

A formidable share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing a little evaluation on this. And he in actual fact purchased me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love studying more on this topic. If possible, as you grow to be experience, would you thoughts updating your blog with extra details? It is extremely useful for me. Large thumb up for this weblog submit!


It makes me sound like an authority on SOMETHING. Unfortunately, it was submitted for an essay on surrendering to plans made because some days were meant for other things and/or about tweezers and a stray chin hair. It was also found on several book reviews, so there you go.  These comments are typically fawning and ingratiating in the hopes that the blog owner will approve the comment, thusly spending the rest of their natural life deleting the spam will throw on every post.


That’s the way it usually works, except for this guy, who clearly doesn’t understand the point of writing in a way that will encourage me to approve his comment:

The following time I learn a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I do know it was my choice to read, however I truly thought youd have something attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can repair when you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.


Hey, fair enough – I probably do have a post or two that this might apply to, including one about ants in my Keurig and a hilarious sponsored post for a bladder control product , and I’m sure there is plenty of non-attention grabbing content here (like this one) but it turns out that the six or seven most recent times he has commented with this has been on book reviews or “how-to” projects.

So thank you, Mr. Spammer, for both making me laugh and calling me a boring whiner and an attention whore. If I ever have a day where I feel like a failure as a writer, I’ll think of you and feel so much better about myself, because at least I understand how this writing thing is supposed to work.

In the meantime, I’ll take joy in hitting the “delete permanently” button.




Leave a Reply

Discover more from JennCaffeinated

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading